4000 Steps

Taking a walk when you’re in a difficult space is not the easiest thing to get up and do, but once you do, you see the situation and life differently.

I took a walk one day when I was in the toughest part of a breakup. I had been crying all morning, was only able to make breakfast. I spoke to my mom who commanded me to get out and enjoy the beautiful day we were having. (We were not in the same city and while I had clear skies, she had gloomy clouds and rain).

Initially when I started walking, I was thinking about the situation that I’m in, the possible routes that I could take. Mostly why this is happening?! Trying to figure it all out. I put my pedometer on, wanted to see how many steps it would take for me to go on this walk. I also set a time limit, I said in 20 minutes I’ll turn around, a 40 minute walk would be sufficient. Without even realising it, I set goals for myself. I chose a path to walk on, there wasn’t really a pavement, so I had to walk on the grass. There was a path walked in already, I’m sure by many people before. I chose not to walk on it, but to walk right next to it. I thought to myself, why don’t we create our own path? Why do we go with what other people have set before? I guess because it’s easier, you can already see how clear that path is, so why not? It took only a few people to create that path, if you think about it. Further down, I had to choose which road I was going to go down, I chose the one on the left. I was walking on the right side of the road, choosing which side of each little tree I’d walk around. I saw some litter on the ground, I didn’t pick it up. Now did I choose not to or did I ignore the fact that I had a choice? People always say you have a choice, but do you? Sometimes we are not aware that there is another option… or we just chose not to think there is.

On this straight road, I found a patch of discarded land, in between these beautiful complexes of modern houses. It had high grass, litter and you never know what else. So I crossed the road, choosing not to go there. We come across patches on a path that seem really dodgy and scary, and we can make the choice to not go there, which I did. I walked on the other side of the road. Avoided it. And in doing so, I found a street to my left that looked interesting, beautiful and very challenging. I decided to take it, it was steep, and I thought it’d be good to use different muscles for a change. Walking up it I saw beautiful houses, nature was lovely too, big trees and cute dogs. I walked to the top and sometimes it was so challenging, I could only look down, at my own steps. Sometimes we have to look down at what we are actually doing and focus on US, to get us up there. We also have to look up and notice our surroundings, look out for danger or beauty. We look around to see who or what can help us get to where we’re going or how we can help others.

When I turned to walk up this road, there was suddenly no wind. On the straight, level road, there was a wind blowing, even though the weather looked clear! Up this road, no wind, but the challenge was different. In life this is the same, when things are going great, we are happy, there is still something going on, be it a wind. But this doesn’t bother us, because we are on a level road, things are going well. Looking up at a different road, we suddenly realise there was a wind because it has now stopped. We see the steep road ahead and suddenly our ‘bothers’ are different. At the top of this road, I get to stop and turn around and look at what I just accomplished. And I got more than what I bargained for, I get the most amazing view, I never thought I would experience! Yet, getting to the top has made me realise there is no other way down, but the same way I came. So I go down, but choose the other side of the road. We think that going downhill is easier, because we can ‘freefall’, but I don’t think so. It’s only different. We have to use different muscles firstly, but we also have to control the fall. We have to stop ourselves from having no control and watch every step we take. It’s not that hard though, because we have already walked this path, just going a different way now. I got to the bottom and looked back up, I saw a dog in the road, cute one. I think to myself, that I missed out on playing with that dog. But sometimes the things we think we missed out on could’ve been a danger to us, otherwise, it cannot have been meant for us, but for someone else to enjoy.

Back on the level road, I feel the wind again, this time more aware of it, but enjoying it more too. Things that bothered us before, can at different times become a joy! 20 minutes later it’s time to turn around. In doing this, I decide to walk on the other side of the road, because I already experienced the other side. Sometimes in life we have to walk the same path again, in a different direction than we did before. It is said that we must not go back in life, we must always move forward. But there are times we go back. Sometimes it’s to find old friends, sometimes it’s to experience something great again, or because we didn’t actually gain what we wanted to the first time. (Like redoing a test to get better results to move on in our studies). So we walk back, we have different insight now because we know this path, we took in all we could the first time, and have more knowledge this time.

I came across the rough patch again and I saw a man walking his dog through this patch. I thought that if he is going through it, it can’t be that bad, so let me try. I started walking through it and heard things moving in the grass – freaky! After 5 steps I said to myself no! I couldn’t do it, it wasn’t nice, but I didn’t enjoy the challenge. So I walked in the road, and although cars were up and down all the time, in this moment, there were no cars on my side and I could walk in the road. Sometimes a challenge isn’t meant for you, you see other people going through it and you think that you can too, that it will be fun. Sometimes their challenge, isn’t your challenge… but a way will be made for you to walk in the road!! While walking in the road I saw a dead white rat just on the edge of that grass, do you see how I avoided that?! A new path will be made when we take a path we think is right, but isn’t!

Getting back to where I started, I realise that it took me a shorter time to come back than to go, because I didn’t need to make the stops I did the first time, I knew what was waiting for me on the way back and could make better decisions then. We sometimes have to take the same path back to the place we started so that we can move on from there. We now have a better understanding of that path and have the capacity to make different, more informed choices!

4000 steps can be all it takes to move on…