Reality (Part1): What is ‘real’ to you?

OR

How do you define reality? What makes something real to you? By something, I mean a moment, a situation, an event - abstract situations, not concrete things.  So once you decide when something is real, does that automatically cancel out any other options or avenues of that situation?  I tend to ask many questions, which in my mind follows a path of sense, but I assume not always to the reader.  So let me explain…

I became more and more aware of people using the term ‘real’, ‘reality’ or my favourite, ‘realistic’.  They would say:

“Look at the reality of it…it is not possible.” (referring to anything really, mostly someone’s ability to make something happen).  Many times people have told me to be realistic when I am passionately expressing myself - talking about an idea that I have or something I would like to pursue. 

“Be realistic Simone…that cannot happen.”  Has anyone ever used that line on you?  Or what about…

“Let’s just be realistic here…” and they attempt to explain why your idea cannot work.

I have since come up with an appropriate response, asking:
“How do you know what is real?” The person will then go on to explain that MY idea cannot work because of what HAS happened (past tense).  I then respond by asking:
“So, because this has happened in the past, you truly believe it will continue to happen in future?”
How can someone prove that MY idea cannot work?  How can they prove that just because a certain result has occurred a number of times before that it will definitely, positively happen again from now on??   How much do you think of yourself that you think you are able to predict the future like that?  Apparently, history has shown the evidence that makes the future predictable!  (Sarcasm) 

Now let’s take a quick look at history.  Nostradamus predicted the future, how many of the people he interacted with back then told him that he should be realistic?  Einstein, Shakespeare, the Wright Brothers, Thomas Edison, The Beatles, Michael Jackson, Nelson Mandela, Will Smith, Jim Carrey…I don’t even need to explain the stories behind these names.  Let’s imagine that all of these people listened to the many (and I’m sure there were very many) people telling them to be real, to be realistic, to not try any of their ideas, that their ideas were silly and would never work!  How do you think our society would function today had any one of them said, “you’re right, it won’t work.” Then go work as a call centre operator (e.g.) for the rest of their lives?! 

Dwell on that for a bit…

Now, back to you…what do you consider real?  Are you living realistically (according to society), or are you pushing your ideas?  Are you testing boundaries?  Do you want to pursue something no one has ever touched?  Many people are scared to admit they have a great big passion and many ideas following them…because once they admit to it, they would have to do something about it!  We want a mediocre life with a millionaire’s salary, don’t we?

Jim Carrey once spoke to a group of graduates in 2015.  One story he told plays over and over in my mind.  He explained about how his dad could have been a great comedian, but he never pursued that, so he got a ‘safe job’ as an accountant.  When Jim was about 12 years old, his dad was let go from that ‘safe job’ and his family had to do what was necessary to survive.  Jim said that he learnt many things from his father, the least of which is ‘that you can fail at what you don’t want, so why not take a chance and do what you love!’

That line had me thinking and it also brought this concept of reality into perspective.  You see, the pattern my life has followed is not a conventional one, not one that society would have expected.  And every time I made a move to do something I wanted, someone was always there telling me to be realistic and not do it, because according to them, it didn’t make sense! Of course I had some family and acquaintances telling me I can do anything I set my mind to and that anything is possible.  But we all tend to operate on autopilot, so we might not necessarily believe those who motivate us, but tend to believe those who tell us it is impossible…weird!  I have come to the conclusion that my life will never make sense to you or to anyone else…what I choose to do will never be real to you, it will never be ‘realistic’ to you.  And THAT is none of MY business too. J

Recently I was sought out for a job, where I ended up working for a week before deciding that this job was not for me.  The lady I was working under sent me this message a few weeks after I stopped working there:

“Hi Simon   (She spelt my name wrong…)
Just sharing a bit of experience…in the real world…people do what needs to be done…in short we find jobs to pay our bills and then while we are doing this…we look at other options.  If you wait for the right job to come along…you might find yourself waiting for a long time…”

What do you make of that?!

My first instinct was to tell her what was on my mind, but I did not respond.  However, I really want to thank her for this message because it triggered a very passionate blog post:  http://simonemomple.blogspot.co.za/2016/03/open-letter-to-society.html

Will Smith, also known to defy norms, said this in one of his motivational talks on YouTube:

“Being realistic is the most common road to mediocrity.  It’s unrealistic to walk into a room and flip a switch and lights come on.  That’s unrealistic, but fortunately Edison didn’t think so.  It’s unrealistic to think you’re going to bend a piece of metal and fly people over an ocean.  That’s unrealistic, but fortunately, the Wright Brothers and others didn’t believe that.”

Now I challenge you to redefine your concept of reality…