Before and After

Before you tell people how I hurt you, tell them how much joy I brought you. 

Before you share that negative thing about me, tell people how I was always looking for the positives.

Before you tell them how I never thought about anyone else but myself, tell them about the times I dropped everything for you. 

Before you say I take people for granted, remember how much I appreciated you, and still do. 

Before you tell people what a disappointment I am, tell them you once loved me.

Before you think I am pushing you away, remember why you’re trying to stay.

Remember me for loving. 

Remember me for caring. 

Remember me for feeling. 

Remember the challenges I faced... or

Remember that I had challenges you never knew about. 

Remember how I hurt in silence. 

Remember how I built myself up in silence. 

Remember that you had little insights into my whole existence, no matter how long, or how deep you were involved. 

Remember you were only let in as much as I let you. 

Remember me for staying true to all of me and all of you. 

Remember me for dancing, even when the music stopped.

Remember me for never giving up, NEVER! No matter how much I wanted to. 

Remember me for who I was.

Remember me for who I tried to be.

Remember me, for me.

Remember me, for you.

Remember me. 

Even if you judged me. 

Are you lonely or alone?

I'm angry, I'm upset, I'm frustrated. 

I'm at peace, I'm happy, I'm fulfilled.

I feel discouraged by what I see.

I feel encouraged through what I see.

I just want to be left alone and cry.

I just want to be with myself and breathe.

My heart is heavy.

My heart is full.

I want to be happier.

I am happy.

I am lonely.

I am alone.

What's the point of life?

What's the point of life?

I'll be back soon...

Where do I go to escape for a while?
Where do I go to get my energy back?
It leaves me in a lost state, looking for space where I can be alone.
A space big enough for me and my thoughts, yet small enough for them not to grow beyond that which I can bear.
They must know their place! It is within the parameters of optimism.
That is where I can hold them...seek them and evaluate them.
I love them...they make me feel alive still.

I watch the talks of others to numb the overthinking.
Does it help?
Often they return with vengeance as soon as I exit app.
So it leaves me breathing deeper to forget.
Hoping I find that space I seek for in my mind - as the limitations of my reality hold me back.
It is meant to be this way...it is meant for me to retreat into the lounge of my mind, make the coffee...sip slowly...relaxing...gently.

'Leave me here', I tell the world, as they keep snapping their fingers to bring me back into their space.
'LEAVE ME HERE!' Seems more aggressive to them now.
'Please', I add...

'I'll be back soon...'

Leave me here.

Leave me here.

...where I don't have to compare my life to others'.


...where social media doesn't exist.

...where I can allow my authentic self to be.

...where the smell of coffee will spark ideas that will change my world.

...where I can rejuvenate.

...where I can see myself again.

Leave me right here.

 ~ Simone Momplé

I finally get it.

We could never really blame them. They don't know what to do.

It's easy to go to a bachelorette, wedding, or baby shower (tangible milestones). But how do you celebrate the 'creative' and the 'academic' (abstract milestones)?

While you're having your third child, I'm getting my third degree.  While pregnant or preparing for a wedding; they expect prayers, words of encouragement and "ooohhs and aaahhs" complimenting their progress.
No one can see the progress of your thesis, therefore they don't know how to react. So what do we expect? Encouragement, prayers, and 'you're doing well' would be nice. But how can they when they see no evidence? 

Bringing it to expectations.  People want you to do good based on their expectations of you.  Based on their subjective viewpoint. This is why the wedding, baby, house, and car is easy to celebrate and the achievements of a creative/academic are not.
Also because the creative and academics have their own definition of success and have shifted out of the 'system' created by society to create their own path.  So how can we expect them to understand?  Hence we remain quiet, have 'lonely' moments and have to continuously be our own source of encouragement. (picture)

We academics and creatives cannot blame them, they simply do not know how to respond.

I finally get it.

#noexpectations #understanding

How does it feel?

One cannot claim to have unshakeable faith and be realistic at the same time. Choose faith, it is an unrealistic path to others, yet so real to you... Follow the happy feeling and you'll create your own reality.
- Quote by Simone Momplé


What is the point of your life? 
For me, the point is to have fun, to enjoy our lives, to relax and feel the ease of life...to be happy all round.

I've experienced how people on social media and in public are so focussed on 'acquiring' that they forget the feeling.  Grinding is great and I support all those who are working to achieve their success...but don't forget the feeling!  When you reach each goal, don't forget to feel the happiness and simply experience the joy of it. 

Feel your way through life, don't think your way through it.  A statement I am learning to apply daily in my life.  When you get an invite to go somewhere and something doesn't feel fun or good about it, don't go.  If someone recommends a movie for you to watch and you feel you don't want to watch it, don't.  When you are part of a meeting and something doesn't feel right with the plans being presented, leave.  Life is that simple.  Feel your way through your life.

Once you start thinking your way through, you begin to analyse, you overthink, you apply strategies that have failed other with people - to your life and you second and third guess yourself and your intentions! Stop!  Don't beat yourself up about anything, EVER!  You live in a world where you get to choose daily, you get to decide what you like and what you don't. Everyday you have contrasting experiences that help you to realise this, so don't worry.  I believe that nothing bad ever happens to me, only situations which make me aware of a change I need to make or a alternative path I should take.  This excites me!  When I hit a wall, I laugh, and search for the easiest path out...focusing on the feeling.

Goal setting is great, but remember that you can feel the feeling before you achieve the goal.  Imagine we made 'the feeling' the goal...and the actual goal simply occurs.  You get to feel your way to success, feel your way to manifestation.  Most of us wait for the manifestation of that car we really want and delay our happiness until then.  Feel happy now and when you get that car, you get to truly enjoy the physical experience of it.  Because, if you rely on the conditions in your life to bring you happiness, your feelings will fluctuate like the petrol price. 
  Allow yourself to create the feeling...this brings such a great change to your life.  People will want to know what has got you so happy and excited about life, and you can tell them that you chose the feeling above the condition, that you desire to feel greatness before any manifestation you desire. 

Everything you ever want already exists...you simply have to ready yourself to receive it and you cannot receive it if you are not in a good feeling place.

So, how are you feeling?

What if you were only concerned about you?

What if you were only concerned about you? 

What type of world would we live in? You might ask, well...you wouldn't care really!  Some may say that would be completely selfish, how can we only be concerned about ourselves? What about other people?  Well, they would be concerned about themselves too...So what would we have to worry about?

What are you most concerned about?  Remove yourself from the 'wars', politics, economics, tertiary education, all systems such as these. None of those are your concern.  YOU are your only concern. 

You are all you have. Everyone else and everything else in this world should never come before yourself.  Focus on you... Sometimes we get desperate to find someone who we can relate to best.

Why can't I find someone like me who likes the same things I do, or has the same outlook on life as I do?

Why would you want to when you already have YOU! The problem is that we search for someone who is like us or someone who understands us, not trusting ourselves to become the person we wish to meet. The one we wish to spend most of our time with...

Are we scared to be alone? To do things alone? To venture out into the world alone? Who goes out to parties/movies/restaurants alone?! That is crazy...right? 

My freedom came when I was able to be by myself for long periods of time and not feel anxious, lonely or sad.  I have reached a beautiful place where I enjoy the company of others, but also love my own company immensely!  I make jokes and laugh with myself (not at myself...let's clear that up), I compliment myself often (this is not conceited!) and I motivate myself when I have to (even if that requires using a Les Brown accent to do so).  Spending time with yourself allows you to get to know yourself on a deeper level.  You get to understand how you operate in different settings and you get to experience and learn new things about yourself daily.  More importantly, you will automatically be happier if all you did was focus on yourself and making yourself happy.  Being unconditionally happy...this means being happy right now!! This very moment! Not when you achieve success, not when the right partner comes around, not when you get a new car, right now, without conditions!  Can you be unconditionally happy? 

This requires you to be in constant communication with yourself, being honest with yourself and admitting 'mistakes'.  Yet, the beauty I have found is that there are no such things as mistakes or wrong choices...only chances for you to figure out what it is you want.  When you know what you don't want, you know what you do want. 

So I challenge you to spend more time with yourself to really and truly get to a beautiful place of self-awareness.  Michael Jackson knew it.  He knew that in order for this world to operate at it's best, we had to focus on ourselves first, then everything else will fall into place.

Know yourself.  Love yourself.  Take care of yourself.  You...FIRST!