I'll be back soon...

Where do I go to escape for a while?
Where do I go to get my energy back?
It leaves me in a lost state, looking for space where I can be alone.
A space big enough for me and my thoughts, yet small enough for them not to grow beyond that which I can bear.
They must know their place! It is within the parameters of optimism.
That is where I can hold them...seek them and evaluate them.
I love them...they make me feel alive still.

I watch the talks of others to numb the overthinking.
Does it help?
Often they return with vengeance as soon as I exit app.
So it leaves me breathing deeper to forget.
Hoping I find that space I seek for in my mind - as the limitations of my reality hold me back.
It is meant to be this way...it is meant for me to retreat into the lounge of my mind, make the coffee...sip slowly...relaxing...gently.

'Leave me here', I tell the world, as they keep snapping their fingers to bring me back into their space.
'LEAVE ME HERE!' Seems more aggressive to them now.
'Please', I add...

'I'll be back soon...'

Leave me here.

Leave me here.

...where I don't have to compare my life to others'.


...where social media doesn't exist.

...where I can allow my authentic self to be.

...where the smell of coffee will spark ideas that will change my world.

...where I can rejuvenate.

...where I can see myself again.

Leave me right here.

 ~ Simone Momplé

I finally get it.

We could never really blame them. They don't know what to do.

It's easy to go to a bachelorette, wedding, or baby shower (tangible milestones). But how do you celebrate the 'creative' and the 'academic' (abstract milestones)?

While you're having your third child, I'm getting my third degree.  While pregnant or preparing for a wedding; they expect prayers, words of encouragement and "ooohhs and aaahhs" complimenting their progress.
No one can see the progress of your thesis, therefore they don't know how to react. So what do we expect? Encouragement, prayers, and 'you're doing well' would be nice. But how can they when they see no evidence? 

Bringing it to expectations.  People want you to do good based on their expectations of you.  Based on their subjective viewpoint. This is why the wedding, baby, house, and car is easy to celebrate and the achievements of a creative/academic are not.
Also because the creative and academics have their own definition of success and have shifted out of the 'system' created by society to create their own path.  So how can we expect them to understand?  Hence we remain quiet, have 'lonely' moments and have to continuously be our own source of encouragement. (picture)

We academics and creatives cannot blame them, they simply do not know how to respond.

I finally get it.

#noexpectations #understanding