And one day...

 ...it will click.

It will feel perfect, comfort will embrace you;

but not a worry comfort, a peaceful comfort.

And one day it will make sense, the lows will disappear and make sense.

Your whys will be answered by 'This' day.

You'll understand like you have never ever before.

And one day you will be everything you want.

You will smell your favourite fragrance and it will fill your body with pleasure.

Nothing will seem out of reach.

And today could be that one day.

Be ready. 

Don't resist like you did that other day. Embrace yourself...

...today, now, right now,

and in this very moment; so that one day will feel normal.

So that one day can be felt today.

Breaking generational curses!

"I'm breaking generational curses!"

BREAK

If only Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend at school? was replaced with, Do you have an idea for a game kids your age could play?

If only Girls don't dress like that was replaced with, What was your inspiration for your outfit?

If only When are you getting married? was replaced with, When are you starting your own business?

If only you recognised your own discomforts and not disrupt my comforts.

If only you had made different choices instead of criticising mine.

If only we were not constantly compared to someone you thought was doing better than us.

If only we were praised for thinking outside of the box and not criticised for it.

If only Creativity was praised as much as marriage in our society.

If only the expectation to break generational curses didn't rest solely on our generations' shoulders.

If only you would let us break these generational curses instead of telling us how to break them.

If only you didn't comply with or possibly create those generational curses.

US

If only we stopped trying to 'break generational curses'

If only we stopped making it a fashionable term.

If only we stopped calling them curses.

If only we stopped...

If only...

...

Reality (Part1): What is ‘real’ to you?

OR

How do you define reality? What makes something real to you? By something, I mean a moment, a situation, an event - abstract situations, not concrete things.  So once you decide when something is real, does that automatically cancel out any other options or avenues of that situation?  I tend to ask many questions, which in my mind follows a path of sense, but I assume not always to the reader.  So let me explain…

I became more and more aware of people using the term ‘real’, ‘reality’ or my favourite, ‘realistic’.  They would say:

“Look at the reality of it…it is not possible.” (referring to anything really, mostly someone’s ability to make something happen).  Many times people have told me to be realistic when I am passionately expressing myself - talking about an idea that I have or something I would like to pursue. 

“Be realistic Simone…that cannot happen.”  Has anyone ever used that line on you?  Or what about…

“Let’s just be realistic here…” and they attempt to explain why your idea cannot work.

I have since come up with an appropriate response, asking:
“How do you know what is real?” The person will then go on to explain that MY idea cannot work because of what HAS happened (past tense).  I then respond by asking:
“So, because this has happened in the past, you truly believe it will continue to happen in future?”
How can someone prove that MY idea cannot work?  How can they prove that just because a certain result has occurred a number of times before that it will definitely, positively happen again from now on??   How much do you think of yourself that you think you are able to predict the future like that?  Apparently, history has shown the evidence that makes the future predictable!  (Sarcasm) 

Now let’s take a quick look at history.  Nostradamus predicted the future, how many of the people he interacted with back then told him that he should be realistic?  Einstein, Shakespeare, the Wright Brothers, Thomas Edison, The Beatles, Michael Jackson, Nelson Mandela, Will Smith, Jim Carrey…I don’t even need to explain the stories behind these names.  Let’s imagine that all of these people listened to the many (and I’m sure there were very many) people telling them to be real, to be realistic, to not try any of their ideas, that their ideas were silly and would never work!  How do you think our society would function today had any one of them said, “you’re right, it won’t work.” Then go work as a call centre operator (e.g.) for the rest of their lives?! 

Dwell on that for a bit…

Now, back to you…what do you consider real?  Are you living realistically (according to society), or are you pushing your ideas?  Are you testing boundaries?  Do you want to pursue something no one has ever touched?  Many people are scared to admit they have a great big passion and many ideas following them…because once they admit to it, they would have to do something about it!  We want a mediocre life with a millionaire’s salary, don’t we?

Jim Carrey once spoke to a group of graduates in 2015.  One story he told plays over and over in my mind.  He explained about how his dad could have been a great comedian, but he never pursued that, so he got a ‘safe job’ as an accountant.  When Jim was about 12 years old, his dad was let go from that ‘safe job’ and his family had to do what was necessary to survive.  Jim said that he learnt many things from his father, the least of which is ‘that you can fail at what you don’t want, so why not take a chance and do what you love!’

That line had me thinking and it also brought this concept of reality into perspective.  You see, the pattern my life has followed is not a conventional one, not one that society would have expected.  And every time I made a move to do something I wanted, someone was always there telling me to be realistic and not do it, because according to them, it didn’t make sense! Of course I had some family and acquaintances telling me I can do anything I set my mind to and that anything is possible.  But we all tend to operate on autopilot, so we might not necessarily believe those who motivate us, but tend to believe those who tell us it is impossible…weird!  I have come to the conclusion that my life will never make sense to you or to anyone else…what I choose to do will never be real to you, it will never be ‘realistic’ to you.  And THAT is none of MY business too. J

Recently I was sought out for a job, where I ended up working for a week before deciding that this job was not for me.  The lady I was working under sent me this message a few weeks after I stopped working there:

“Hi Simon   (She spelt my name wrong…)
Just sharing a bit of experience…in the real world…people do what needs to be done…in short we find jobs to pay our bills and then while we are doing this…we look at other options.  If you wait for the right job to come along…you might find yourself waiting for a long time…”

What do you make of that?!

My first instinct was to tell her what was on my mind, but I did not respond.  However, I really want to thank her for this message because it triggered a very passionate blog post:  http://simonemomple.blogspot.co.za/2016/03/open-letter-to-society.html

Will Smith, also known to defy norms, said this in one of his motivational talks on YouTube:

“Being realistic is the most common road to mediocrity.  It’s unrealistic to walk into a room and flip a switch and lights come on.  That’s unrealistic, but fortunately Edison didn’t think so.  It’s unrealistic to think you’re going to bend a piece of metal and fly people over an ocean.  That’s unrealistic, but fortunately, the Wright Brothers and others didn’t believe that.”

Now I challenge you to redefine your concept of reality…

Open letter to society

Dear Society,

*Quote: “Because in my experience, it is better to take any job when you’re unemployed than to wait for that ‘perfect’ job.”

I am currently unemployed.  I have a part job that brings in some money.  I have a few bills I need to pay.  I live with my parents and do not own my own car.  I am not married, neither do I have any children.  I have a BA degree in Tourism and a BA Honours in Psychology.  I have a part-time job as a Zumba Instructor and I do Hip Hop dancing, because I love it.  I am a mentor for a volunteer organisation and am currently on the committee who is running a Youth Alpha Course at my Church.  So what does this make me, society?  

I’ve been applying for jobs online, registered with many online job sites.  I have been offered two jobs…of which both I turned down. Why?  They were not what I wanted to do or I felt overqualified for it.  (*The quote above was said to me by both companies I turned down). 

Meeting up with friends, family and acquaintances and being asked the awkward question:
“So, what are you doing with your life now?” …would surely require answers such as…

”I am planning my wedding”

“I’m working for a corporate company as a *insert high profile position*.”

“I just bought my own house and a new car.” 

Then OF COURSE I would get the desired response: 

“Wow that is amazing!  You’ve really made a success of your life.” 

But, here is MY answer:

“I am currently looking for a job.” 

Their response?  “Oh shame.”

Now I stand there with a confused look on my face, like I told them that someone died and needed the sympathy?!  Follow up questions include: “So what did you study and what are you looking for?”  And then they offer advice (of which I did not ask for) on how to apply or where to look. 

Seeing as advice is so freely given in society, allow me to return the favour:

Not having a job is not a bad thing.  I do not see that merely having a job makes you ultimately successful in life.  I think and operate differently from most societal norms…I always have.  So please do not pity those who do not have a job.  In fact, I think you should praise and encourage them as they now have more time and freedom to spend on working on what they really want.  I have many friends and family who are so unhappy in their jobs, but they say:

“At least I have a job…I’d rather have a job I’m unhappy in than not have one and be at home sitting on the couch.” 

Please note that I still have a very confused look on my face…  I have never ever understood why people would do something they are unhappy doing and attribute their reasoning to some or other ‘logical’ or ‘realistic’ reason.  (Look out for my next post on the concept of ‘reality’).  And honestly, if you did not have a job, would you really only be sitting on the couch ALL day??!! 

Maybe next time you meet up with someone…instead of asking what are you doing with their life, ask “Are you happy?” Then you will get a real answer.  Why do we attribute what we do for a living with happiness?  Yes, if you are doing what you love as a job, you are happy.  But do not assume that because we are not where we want to be right then that we are not happy with where we are!  Many people are happy in the process too.  Asking are you happy shows more concern for the person’s well-being.  Now I know you are really interested and care.

As for me, I am happy.  Society, don’t freak out!  Yes, I’m unemployed, and I’m happy!  Stop trying to make me feel bad for not following your set principles!  I lived out my dream job by the age of 21.  I travelled around the world for three years after obtaining a degree.  I came back, did volunteer work for one full year.  I proceeded to study a different degree.  I made one of my passions a part time job.  I am almost thirty and I am happy with where I am and especially with who I am.  At my age, I know myself way better than I would have ever expected to.  I am in-tune with my inner self and how I connect to my higher being.  This type of happiness was not obtained by having a job, having a husband, having children, having my own car, having my own house or even having a retirement fund!

Also, please don’t assume that people who are unemployed are sitting at home on the couch all day.  How does that even make sense?!  No, we are hustling!  We are creating our dream job…that often does not exist in society.  We are sharpening our skills for the type of work we want to do… researching, developing ourselves, focussing on what we want, not what we don’t want.  We have the advantage of taking our time to find out what it is that we truly desire and to pursue that with unlimited energy!  We get to plan our lives better to make sure we are constantly improving. 

No society, you are not all wrong…although we might not be doing nothing all day, we do have the option of sitting on the couch every now and then.

I’m sorry that I am happy society.

Yours in unemployment.

Simone Momplé